Nice bumps, Posh aka Victoria Beckham. Well she actually is a good-looking woman perhaps this was just an off day. I don’t consider her to be a wash up because of one bad photo. Victoria has been a wash up since she was a Spice Girl. Recruited for her looks, Victoria had the weakest voice in the band and the least screen presence. She got maybe 1 or 2 lines in every Spice Girl song that was recorded. Ouch. In fact the girls bumped her to the back of most of their pics and she was content to stay there, probably because it was the best place for Posh. She couldn’t dance either and her lame excuse in her autobiography “Learning to Fly” (whatever that means) was that “I find it hard to dance in high heels.” Um, that’s what the Spice Girls did Vic…you all wore high heels and you were all required to dance in them. It was a Spice Girl mandate. Except you of course, Vic. It was way too hard for you.
To watch Spice Girls – Wanna Be video click here. Watch closely and count how many lines Victoria sings solo. Hint: None.
But it was her years following the band’s breakup where she really blew it in the public eye. She attempted a solo singing career and released one album, Not Such an Innocent Girl, which sold a whopping 87,000 copies. Another ouch. While she was working hard at fooling herself into thinking she was a singer, Victoria’s husband David was two countries away enjoying an extramarital tryst with their personal assistant, Rebecca Loos (love the last name). Ouch, again (that’s three if anyone’s counting). Finally Victoria gave up her painful solo singing career and flew over to be at David’s side presumably to prevent any further trysts with Rebecca Loos and anyone else he fancied. To see Victoria Beckham Live click here.
Her autobiography sucked, her singing career tanked but Victoria was determined to remain a celebrity. She promoted the Beckham name by designing a line of purses and, believing herself to be a real designer, a clothing line, both of which have done very well … finally. Victoria’s designs (doubtless pencilled for her by someone with talent) tend to be quite banal, mostly spinoffs of other designers with a been-there-worn-that look. Anyhow why would any woman want a dress in her closet with a Victoria Beckham label on it? Seriously. It wasn’t long after launching her clothing line that Victoria wrangled a contract for a reality TV show highlighting the Beckhams move from the UK to Los Angeles, Coming to America. Originally it was intended as a weekly series but mercifully someone put a stop to that and it was crammed into a one-hour special. David’s air time: 8 minutes. Victoria’s air time: 60 minutes. What a surprise. To see Victoria in Coming to America click here.
The show really revealed her to be a celebrity who has no business being famous. Her pompous, I’m-richer-than-you attitude and obvious love of mirrors made even an hour of Victoria Beckham painful to watch. Once she was a bashful, rather endearing Spice Girl. Now she is a loud-mouthed, opinionated dork lacking any concept of her public image. For instance in one scene from Coming to America after Victoria leaves a party held in her honour by a group of women, she giggles to her personal assistant that “When I’m old I hope that I’m like that.” I’m sure your Los Angeles neighbours appreciated that zing! on national television, Vic, especially after throwing you a party. To see the party for Victoria on Victoria Beckham Coming to America Part 3 click here. Scene starts at 5:22. Notice the plastic surgery-induced grimace on 90% of the women there.
Around this time she and David hung out with Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes (why is that no surprise). Cruise promised Victoria he would make her into a major film star which is rather like promising Leif Garrett a singing career comeback. In other words, in another lifetime and the Beckhams severed ties with their American friends when they returned to the UK. To see Katie Holmes and Victoria Spice Have Dinner at the Ivy click here.
That’s where it gets tawdry.
Nothing to report here. Snore.
As far as on air interviews go, she seems to have a clue lately and is keeping her mouth shut. That’s a good thing.
No thank you.
Comeback Grade: S for Stay in the UK, OK?
To visit Vic’s Facebook Page click here.
Fans: 38,040 – medium